The 7th of September: evil spirit after work

Something came over me... I was in such a rush to get home. Get home to what? Food I guess. Something was over me. I left after spliting a 6 well plate of 22a into 3 chamber slides, of course it took longer than I had planned (not that I planned anything).

At home, I started eating; I was hungry. Tortia chips and hummus, olives, two tomatoes, nothing actually substantial. The feeling I had is hard to describe: hunger, hot face, heart beating fast, nervous. Was my soul stirring in the froth of events that took place all that day? Had I neglected my body earilier after working out? Did I ingest too much sodium? Was the whole business of begin 25, but not feeling like I'm "beening" at all catching up to me again?

I broke down and told Cedric I was thinking about going back to school.
"I'm thinking of taking the GREs and just going to grad school. I've been thinking that I just need to be involved with the whole academic process again." He sensed my desperation and knew I was thinking, what I call, thinly. I've given it a name because I do it daily. It is the kind of thought that you put into tieing your shoe, or brushing your teeth. Only, for me, I do it with very important stuff, like life decisions, my social actions, my words, whether or not to bike in traffic without a helmet. Things like that; important things. So he knew something was wrong, he sensed rightly.

"What happened to Med school."

I felt like saying, "Fuck Med school. If there is one thing I've proved to myself in 25 years of living it is that I care only for myself and nothing else."

Of course, I did not say this. Mostly because I've never said the word "fuck" around him, and partly because it is untrue.

It comes down to risks... I don't take the right risks... is that possible? Right risks? hm... oxy-moron, er something.

Anyway... I don't calculate. I don't even know what I want exactly. How can I decide, how can I comitt, choose, emerse myself. I'll just sit here and waste some more time. It is just easier to fester than to act.

the winds

Well, a lot has happened since I've actually sat down and wrote. This exerise is the most therapeutic activity in which I can engague. Deep breath.

Not in alphabetical order

Katrina:

What can I say about this awfulness that has not already been said...yet, maybe say something unoriginal- something said everyday- is a good way of show solidarity with those who are in pain and affected. So I'll say it: I'm praying for the millions displaced and homeless and lost and dead and feeling hopeless by this storm.

As a scientist, I was very interest in the causations of Katrina. Why was this storm so destructive? What enviromental factors contributed to the strom's doomsday-like verocity. Asking these questions only led me to define the word "Destruction".

Destruction in the context of the human condition; how the storm affected the people of that region? What was destroyed? Homes, ways of life, commerce, industry, families... lives, people. All of these and every instance, every particular story is as tragic as the next.

animals, plants and the entire southern wetlands of Mississippi and Louisianna are disrupted, polluted.

....